The Reasons Why We Never Finish What We Start
Never finalising what you started can come at a cost. Ever been excited about your New Year’s resolutions and could not wait to begin? How is it going so far? Did you give up after learning a few basic greetings in a new language?
There is always that unsettling feeling at the back of your mind, incessantly haunting you about that project you never finished. It seemed like a great idea at first, and you told everyone about it, but somehow you decided to become your own obstacle rather than seeing it through.
This is why you do it:
Fear of failure
You believe that you will fail, because you are not worthy. This line of thinking abolishes productivity and crashes dreams. It robs you of that indescribable feeling of accomplishment. It keeps you paralysed, inactive and dejected.
In order to achieve big goals, you need to take big risks. When things go wrong, as they sometimes do, do not perceive it as failure, but rather as an error that needs correction.
“I really don’t think life is about the I-could-have-beens. Life is only about the I-tried-to-do. I don’t mind the failure but I can’t imagine that I’d forgive myself if I didn’t try.” – Nikki Giovanni
Fear of responsibility
Here you may feel that you are giving up your freedom. You have been so addicted to stalling; in fact procrastination has become your best friend. The thought of wiggling yourself out of bed to work on something that offers no assurance may be too much to handle. Ask yourself if you have anything to lose by not accomplishing your goals.
Fear of running out of time/ not having the time
If I had an hour every time someone said ‘I don’t have time’, including myself, I would live to be a thousand years. There’s always time to do everything else of insignificance, but no time do what might bring you peace of mind.
Fear of Judgement
You believe that negative criticism is a death sentence to your self-worth. You give too much value to what others think that you neglect what you need. You rather fit-in and become part of the group than trust in yourself and that you have something different to offer.
Perhaps judging less frees you from judgement. Perhaps the judgement you fear from others is really in you. Perhaps you are, really, your greatest judge and you are the one you are really petrified of. Think about it, what would really happen if someone judges you? However, you would be the one who beats herself-up about it. Over and over again. So in essence, you are scared of yourself
“The deepest fear we have, ‘the fear beneath all fears’, is the fear of not measuring up, the fear of judgement. It’s this fear that creates the stress and the depression of everyday life”, Tullian Tchividjian
Fear that you do not have what it takes
You have seen successful people who have accomplished the very thing you wish to pursue. They always seem to walk, speak and portray themselves with the utmost confidence. They have that presence that exudes a certain something. You perceive this and you think, ‘that’s definitely not me, I will never be like that and I can not achieve the same’.
Most of these people, if you get to know their stories, had a dream just like you do. The thought of pursuing it was as petrifying to them as it is to you. The only difference between yourself and them is that, for them, not chasing after their dream is more frightened than doing nothing about it.
Fear of rejection
Naturally, we all feel the need to belong and to be part of something. Therefore, if you fear that your ideas, opinions, and philosophies threaten your place in a group/society, then you are definitely afraid of rejection.
From a logical standpoint, maybe you are afraid because the rejection you perceive validates what you feel about yourself; that you are not good enough, and that you are not worthy, you believe that you are unlovable or that you are of no significance. One thing for sure, looking at others for reassurance is counter productive. Assurance and self-acceptance comes from within, no one will ever tell you how to feel.
“Human beings, like plants, grow in the soil of acceptance, but not in the atmosphere of rejection”, – John Powell
Fear of success
You may be afraid of success, but may not know it. Here is your big clue; when you get in the way of your own progress. Another clue; when you talk more about your ‘project’ than actually doing anything about it.
What is it really that you are fearful of? Really? Are you afraid the components already mentioned in this article?
We have established that the big bogeyman that keeps us from achieving our goals is actually ourselves. We are terrified of out of our minds, literally, of no one else, but ourselves. We are the judge and the prosecutor. We are ruthless, we give ourselves a prison sentence and somewhere along the line we forget that the door was never locked.
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed my take on 7 reasons why we never finish what we have started.
I see you,